Saturday 13 December 2008

that fine line between excitement and fear

sadist or masochist. i am there.

the shrill and thrill of things too big for me pumps up unknown adrenaline that i didnt realize was in me. there is pleasure that i find in putting some love ones in agony by climbing ladders too weak for my weight or eating inextinguishable fire, in my fire retardant demi-dress.

its like carcrash waiting to happen, with me on the drivers seat and my family are the audience.

or the torture of the mistake done, the acceptance and knowing that you have tried yet failed. the bleeding caused by the gashes, and the cuts that sore, the wounds that may not heal, i feel the pain, and reliving the torture in my mind over and over again.

dizzy yet?

wait til you hear the real story.

2 comments:

Shutterfairy said...

a bit dizzy but i have meds beside me. still willing to read more dizziness.. ka remember ko chel with psychia patients, i say: "Okay.. go on.." hehehehe..

sumpay na oy.

hiddenrage said...

hahaha, yu are such a supportive friend...im so lucky and i mean that=)