beauty

being beautiful is how you feel.

i feel rotten most days. i know,maybe because the face that greets me (in the mirror) in the morning, is a face you would only encounter during nightmares and occasional horror movies.

but give me a few hours, id feel beautiful again. this is after a slather of cosmetics. (ive taken photos of myself, with and without make up, there is a marked difference,ok, so ayaw pakiglalis,LOL..*think: juiceko, unsa nalang gyud kaha kung wala'y make up noh?* exactly!hehe).

even when someone compliments me (out of politeness or whatever), i dont feel it.

its not about lack of confidence, its about reality .

and not being delusional.

i know where im good at, i know which areas i need to flaunt, and aha, beauty was never my strongest points.

but when i put on a nice outfit, a wonderful pair of shoes, a hint of jo malone's, and a dab of blusher, then id feel 'yup, my confidence goes up a notch'.

i dont have hang ups about my looks. it does not bother me because i dont need it for my job and most esp with the kind of friends i keep (theyd rather you're inteligent, talented and humanistic than be a dumbtwit dollface...=)

and in my family, youre beautiful if youre funny, so i always thought i was beautiful growing up. (only to realize that in the real world, beauty is a different definition).

in my teenage years,i was lucky enough to have found men(err boys) who found my personality 'sexy' and called me beautiful (in short, nakailad sad ko'g ubay-ubay).

in my thirties now,and married, and has no plans whatsover to beautify myself for 'boys' but for myself, i seem to have known what to do...my magic wand aka make up brushes, will remedy it, albeit temporarily.

so whats the problem you ask?

i do somehow get bothered, that sometimes, in the middle of the night, i go to the loo, and forget there's a mirror somewhere.

that mirror, when a hint of light grazes it, i sometimes, scare myself.

how pathetic is that?!


***


how about you, amaze (amuse) me,with your wits, tell me:


1) what makes you feel beautiful?..


2) what makes you feel 'not so beautiful' (for those who never felt this, skip number 2,LOL)


3)how do you see yourself now? beautywise?..(can i just say, you're all beautiful to me)...


im tagging: you: therese, chichi, aileen, maimai, jane,patricia, ankai,...and all those who want to tell me what their definition of beauty is about...xxx