nice to finally meet you

i am still in awe of the vicar's words during the service yesterday for hazel's funeral.

he talked about hazel and how she was during her younger years. the vicar made a point to talk to Graham (H's son) and John and asked what Hazel liked during her time to incorportate for his talk.

things i learned about H because of the vicar's beautiful sermon:


-she was born in England and moved to Australia when she was in her twenties.
-came back to england and travelled extensively.
-Hazel was a lover of arts..she paints during her spare hours.
-she was an active member of the conservatives political party.
-she was a happy mommy to Graham and spoilt him a bit too much.
-she was into flower arranging. (i can relate)
-she was into jazz music (this one too)


at the crematorium, the music for the service was a happy jazz music because that was what she liked.


i found it sad that i only knew Hazel at her funeral..how God did not make it possible for me to know her that much..

and yet, i still grieved for her..and for John who has lost a partner of many a decades.


***

what stuck to my mind was at the church, the vicars words resonated so much to me. it was as if he was directly talking to me..

it went something like this:


"today is the time to remember hazel for how she was in our life,and what we were in hers,no mater how little or insignificant it may seem...let us remember the fun and the sad times,or the ordinary times, we were together, no matter how fleeting... let us treasure that.that we had those moments with Hazel, no matter how short or ordinary it may have seemed...

today also is the time to be sorrowful that we have lost her to our maker, but let us not forget to look forward, and that we have hazel in our memories to cherish.

most importantly to be thankful..thank our Lord for the times, we have shared with Hazel and that she was able to share those precious experiences with us."


*i was imagining the last time i saw her, at hers and john's house, it was valentines day and i read to her john's card that he wrote for her..she was watching television and she could hardly talk but when i read to her the card, she was teary eyed and smiled at me..

i also remembered how i helped her to her wheelchair at the christmas/boxing day party held at Alan's house..she was in so much pain then and was muttering muffled sounds*

it made those fleeting moments seem magnanimous, and forever cemented in my brain now somehow..


***

when we were asked to bow down our heads to be thankful for those moments, i also said some thankful prayers for all those im grieving for.

peole who i grieve for every single day, and ache for at certain moments and celebrations of my life.


you hear me Paps?


**

thank you God, for showing me ways of unburdening this ghost i carry in my heart.