someone asked, was i relieved that i said my part?
there's no happiness in hurting someone you really care for, even if what you're telling them is your honest-straight-hearty-goodness emotions--because you're hurt.
so the answer is NO. i am not relieved. and i am not happy.
neither am i proud of what i did but there are things you had to do as a friend.
when you feel things might be a problem in the long run, then I'd rather be the one to tell them, than 'other' people. because i would feel that i have let other people down as a friend if someone pointed it out to them.
(really, i expect my friend to tell me if i got my knickers all knotted in the back in everyone's full view, and not wait for other people to tell me themself.)
but "where" i did it was wrong.
even if it was done in love and gently as possible, i still look like an ass.
in hindsight, i am to blame if i end up as "sheila-no-mates". i scared and yes, put off present friends of how 'overbearing' i can be with telling off friends. but i thought if i privately tell off someone, i could be accused of hurting a person, when in all truth, i was telling them off nicely. so i thought, what i can tell to one friend, i can tell everyone.
but then, we do things, thinking they were right.
no matter how the intention, it comes fall flat on your face if you do things, garishly and irrationally...things you hate in the first place.
***
but all is not lost.
the person more than redeemed themself for being humble and ever apologetic.
which in all honesty very sweet.
so there goes I feeling guilty for having done it in the first place.
and yes, feeling like an ass.
there's my piece of humble pie for you..
***
and why am i closing this blog? because i want to share soooo much but i feel a little bit self conscious.
i have just done social media suicide with my outpouring of hurts and emotions , theres also that thing called "accept the consequences of your actions".
so this is me, hanging on a piece of string, all voluptuous 86 kgs of me.
tongue hanging out and still feeling like an ass.
3 comments:
*stomping foot... hands on hip.. stomping foot again.
You can't as in CAN'T close this blog. What's a week gonna be like without reading/hearing from you Chel? All these time you are my constant dose of cheerfulness.
If I go out of line let me know ha..
*sniff*
=(
*hugs*
really TIGHT hugs
chelo, why do you need to close your blog at all? we all have the right to rant and rave in whatever form or venue we choose to. i'm right behind you dear. and no, i don't think you looked foolish.
*hugs*
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