India looms

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photo: my visa for india..

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for some time, i have had reservations regarding the India trip. If you know me, one of my greatest fears is visa applications anywhere in the world.

ive always find applying for one such a nerve wracking exercise, no matter what country you're applying to especially if you have committed to alot of people and being denied one always means disappointing the people you comitted to.

i always associate my visa fears to some traumatic experiences in the past. one is the last application for my sister's and my brother's visa to come and visit me in this country. it was longwinded and just too much bureaucracy. i know we all have to do it, but if you know in your heart these people arent intending to stay in the country they're visiting and still get such treatment like an illegal immigrant, its so frustrating to say the least.


but thats not my biggest visa story. There was one application in July 2005.

My cousin Joan was getting married in August that year, and she was so sweet, she moved her wedding to August, instead of their original plan so i could attend the wedding since i intended to come home that month.

Adrian and i almost were not given the visa/stamp. We were told that i lacked 1 document, (for the year 2004) even if i have given them all my payslips in all the months of 2004, and all addressed to the same address as that of Adrian's (we were living together after all,LOL).


I was quite upset because i had all documents except just 1 minor one (a utility bill) that i lacked because i thought i have given more than enough documentation and proof.


But the man wasnt satisfied. he said he couldnt justify that Adrian and i lived together and are living as Man and wife without that gas bill under my name in year 2004. (apparently they wanted 3 utility bills, i only gave two and a handful of bank statements and the whole year of payslips which were all under the same address).


If he had some common sense, he would know we were genuine. But of course, they are very bookish, and they stick to certain rules that they need to follow and boxes to tick.

We pleaded and asked him to please just stamp the visa, and that we have a wedding to attend in Cebu the week after and i wont be able to come back to the UK if the stamp isnt given to me, as my old visa will expire.

He wouldnt have it.

You know what happened next?


It was the first time i saw Adrian tearfully pleading to anyone a man at that and pleaded with him. My heart just leaped and felt sooo sorry for him. Here was my husband who is a well respected instructor, who has pride and self-respect, would plead to man (tearfully) and begging him to consider. (it makes me tearful everytime i remember that moment).

This was happening infront of a queue of people, who could see what he and i were doing as our voices were getting louder as the man was behind a glass enclosure.

I felt sorry for Adrian and my heart just got so crushed seeing my husband like that, who i know would never do that to anyone, but he did so that time, because HE WANTED ME TO STAY in the country.

What did i do?

I scooped the semi kneeling Adrian and hugged him (i didnt care what people thought, to hell with them that time), and i said to him "honey, you didnt need to do that.you dont need to kneel down and beg anyone for my sake.. dont worry, i will just phone Joan and tell her we cant go home as i need time to process my residency. i know she will understand", and gave the man behind the counter a dagger look. Adrian wouldnt have it as he feels letting Joan down, and the option would be to let me go home and stay for a few months while sorting the permit to come back which could take months or a year!

I eventually convinced him by telling him, id rather risk the ire of my family than leaving him on his own and not be able to come back for a time just so i could sort the visa. (i knew Joan would have understood).

I hugged Adrian (i was also crying this time) and told him were leaving and didnt give the man behind the counter any courtesy as he felt he didnt deserve it.


We went out, and just by the exit area, the security guard called us back. And we were asked to go to a different desk. The man who served us was there waiting for us, and said "look, im not supposed to give you a consideration like this, but how can you get me the document within today?".

as we live just under an hour away from Croydon we told the man we could get the document within two hours, he gave us a special pass to go and come back the very same day (not a usual happening apparently).

i dont know what changed his mind, but i have realised that once we stop bending over and foregoing our principles for the sake of bureucracy, things can still go our way.

Adrian and i did our part, the hell would i let my husband ask and beg for my sake and humiliate himself? I didnt have the heart to see him do that.

But after the incident the man saw beyond what alot of people only see, the age, culture and color difference,it all means nothing. Not when love is involved.

So visa and visa applications, theyre tricky. people who have the power to stamp your passports do not only need the basic intelligence to read your documents and applications, but also the common sense to read what goes on infront of them.


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i am getting all emotional writing this down. its another humbling reminder how such one person love me to bits. and a beautiful reminder that i love him back.

with all my heart. fiercely.


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im tagging you to write a moment in your life where love has more than proven itself to you.

you, who care to share.

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[edit: i am going to india to photograph my friend's wedding and his brother's wedding, and a few days to go around see some sights..and on the way back to the UK, a stopover for a few days in Dubai to see friends..*excited*].