i took adrian to a mini date this afternoon for just a little recoupe and regrouping.
adrian and i do this regroup and reconvening away from home, away from the energy of work, and the mundane..and away from the computer, because when were at home, him and i are at our respective computers typing away (him on his work), while i, on my research (or Facebook,haha).
so today, we had a little date. not planned. not organised. just a "come,lets go, lets make an ordinary saturday evening special by chatting".
so we did.
my date
the place..cafe rouge
chatter chatter chatter
pleased missus...
***
on another note:
a few saturdays ago, i attended a first year old's birthday party. she is my grandniece Anya=)
my!! this little madam is now growing..why do i say so? she now knows she's being photographed..just look at the head tilt=)
some chapters i have deleted here for now, because they're delicate and the writer still fragile to be asked about them.
right now, lets just say, i'm in some weird hazy planet and i'm stuck there for the meantime.
the light is near,to get to that light is quite a journey (not without hissy fits, bruising and crying..and doctor's appointments,crazy schedules, overfilled diaries,and ginormous love-hate moments with the ever understanding husband).
i know when i've crossed the bridge, i will be a better woman for it all.
sometimes i find myself wistful and a little bit sad when i realise, im spending more time burrowed in books on my free time (when not working for my livelihood), instead of going out and enjoying the sun, and taking photographs.
and then when i realise that i'm already on the verge of my end goal, i stop being sad. i know, when i finish being too busy for photography, i will have ample time (and focus) to do exactly just that.
for the meantime, i sit, (read and work) and practise patience.
soon, i will reap my rewards.
**
how about you? are you holding out for something?
whatever it is, wait it out with me..we will soon be given our dues.
{photo: a tourist bus by somerset house from the jubilee bridge}
on my last day before we fly,im supposed to be packing and arranging the last minute stuff. but here i am answering phone calls and emails from my university. they have emailed me regarding my essay (remember the dining table saga?), well i got really good feedback (and grade! woohoo!!) from that, and im absolutely ecstatic.
also, a phone call asking me if im interested in working in Learning Disabilities for Adults. DUh! would i just! absolutely, i am! Jobs like these comes once in a blue moon, and the learning opportunities are massive=) i spoke with the Clinical Lead and she told me the benefits and the responsibilutities,but i was too excited to concentrate. besides, the lady said, she thinks its tailor-made for me, *happy*.
the catch? i had to submit my application ASAP, as the deadline is the week after (and im in India). so the moment we ended the phone call, i had to submit my CV and the tedious process of filling up forms online.
talk about BUSY, i am really not exaggerating.
The good thing too, that means, i will have more time to entertain Kharla when she's here in September while waiting for the things to get finalized! (WOohoo again!)! September, roll on in=)
Technically, i dont have THE job thats being offered yet (as the powers that be has to go through red tape) , but its not a worry, as i currently am still working (well semi working as im in university too),and if i get the job, i will just slide into the new one from the old one. Praying it will be given to me too, as one of their requirement was flexibility working in the weekends (if needed, but swapped with weekday off), which can be a tough case, but lets see.
So, in between, answering emails, sending job applications,tidying up, blogging,haha and banking transactions, life is hectic..yet, life is good.
***
Flying to India in a few hours...
Excited for the possibilities that await me.
***
Things im looking forward to in this trip:
-a whole body massage at an Ayurvedic centre in one of the lodges we will be staying at
-Elephant safari
-the Keralan backwaters (which i heard is an out-of-this world experience)
-the safari lodge where we are booked to stay at
-the Tea plantation in one of India's peaks
-the authentic Indian food we will be served from our hosts
-the weddings im attending (and capturing,be still my heart, and Lord, please help me rise to the challenge)
-the Riverboat lodge cruising through the backwaters, where we are also billeted for two nights
-the castles and museums that were booked to see
-Ashrams were planning to visit and meditate at
-the Kathakali cultural show-- a highly costumed stage play reenacting the triumph of Good over Bad (the make up and costumes, i am so looking forward to see)
-the backstreets of a very rural Indian town
-the culture that im about to sample and witness (disclaimer: but obviously thru a visitors eyes)
-although i am sad, i wont be able to see jaipur and the pink city and the Taj Mahal, but i hope there will be a next time to visit it. for the meantime, i will be concentrating on the Southern part of India (the not so often featured part of India and apparently has the best seafood) specifically Kerala and Tamil Nadu, its food,its colours, its smells (Aileen, i will bring the pinchers as promised,haha),and its taste..
I am grateful for all the good things i am given, i just wish i can take you all with me=)
**
Thank you heavens, for always for knowing what i need before i do.
Thank you family and friends, for always being there.
x
Eat,Pray, Love (ok, copyright to Ms.Gilbert,haha).
The Rage x
***
this is a sample of a video i saw for Kerala--often called as God's Own Country
if i want to remember what i did for the past few days, i get a reminder thru the pics on my iphone..
the photos on our phone are swatches of what happened during the week, as theyre the easiest and handiest photographic tool one is carrying these days.
i wanted to organise what i did this week, but i was thrown off by the anniversary date, in between events that happened before and after that.thank goodness from phone cameras, most especially, big storage in phones.
here are some photos from the phone (interspersed with photos from my Dinky Niki phone)..
ebi katsu from Wagamama meal Adrian and i enjoyed over last weekend..(iphone)
and the yummy chcken katsu curry...(iphone)
coming out of the resto/wagamamaplace, this was the lakeside 's array of restaurants.. (Nikon coolpix)
a view of how busy a weekend meal could mean...(Nikon coolpix)
*
also, i did a make up job this week, for a friend of mine.She is the mother of the bride.
she was quite happy with her make-up..For someone who doesnt wear make up, she asked me to have look that will look fresh and stay the whole afternoon til the wee hours of the morning.
(iphone)
(iphone)
(iphone)
Lisa was so happy most of all, because of her eyerows. She didnt know anyone who could draw her eyebrows the way she wanted it. She has barely there/to none eyebrows as its very thin and the colour is so fair. I had to literally draw eyebrows over and above the original one, to lift out her eyes. Yes, ladies, age is not kind to us..No matter how beautiful our features are, gravity gets to us, and it sucks..Thank you Lord for make-up.
The photo was done hours before the wedding as i had a prior engagement on the same day.
***
and then on friday, a late lunch with Bing. a filipina friend, my first ever filipina friend, when i moved to england, and who is just like my second mother. we had to squeeze a lunch meet-up because she was turning a year older this Thursday (12th) but i wont be able to see her.
We had lunch at Las Iguanas..we ordered the same exact food Ana and i ordered when the sis was here to visit me. I didnt take a photo of Bings and mine's lunch, but here's a phonecam photo of Ana and mine's lunch in May at Las Iguanas..
it was my birthday treat to a friend who is much like family to me. and we hardly see one another considering were just a few blocks away from eachother. we had to schedule meeting one another..
(iphone)
here's Bing during the ice cream dessert. This was her treat for me, and who am i to say No to ice cream?
(iphone)
***
And last night, a birthday party for Glen and Lionel at the local TGIF.
Lionel who's office is in Brussels likes TGIF for some reason (there must be no TGIF in Brussels,haha), requested to have the dinner there.
So off we went last night.
(Nikon coolpix)
(Nikon coolpix)
Heres the two..
both had birthdays together..one was the day before, one was the same exact date we celebrated. both are South Africans..and gosh theyre like family to us..
after desserts we proceeded to more drinking and karaoke at Cheryl's house.
this is a photo of Cheryl, Pamela, and Glen, saying goodbye to us.. it was around 3AM. they were about to sing (and dance) the song Pamela Wan to me as a goodbye song. (i know theyre the craziest and funniest bunch..South Africans are the best party animals there are).
At the karaoke:
They asked me to sing the song Pamela Wan. They love it even if they cant read the lyrics nor sing it. They just loved that song because it has the name Pamela on it, which is Pam's complete name.
The whole night of the karaoke, they kept asking me to sing Filipino songs, but most Filipino songs i know are in english which they felt cheated about,haha. (it made me realise, for a Filipino, im so bad, not knowing Tagalog songs much. note to self: learn more tagalog songs).
History of the Pamela Wan song: when my sister Ana visited last time, they also invited us to a karaoke party. (their karaoke machine was a gift from adrian and I from the Phils,haha). As we have turns to sing, their daughter Yentl chose to sing the Pamela Wan song to all the South African guests delight..Ana and i laughed because the daughter couldn't sing it properly,and it was weird why she was singing a filipino song.
When Ana helped her/Yentl to sing it, they asked to repeat the song for Ana to sing properly. Ana became the hero in their eyes at that instant, as they all wanted to learn the song, because everytime their whole family are together, they try to sing the song, but they dont know how.
So Ana taught them the tune, and how to pronounce the words.
How easy to make these people happy.
***
Last night they kept wishing Ana was there to sing it properly for them..I wished that too,LOL.
**
i tried singing it last night, they all loved it..even if i half guessed the tune as when that song came out in the Philippines, i was already living in the UK. i only (barely) learned the tune from Ana.
i wanted to post the video of them singing the song as a goodbye, but im so embarassed as my voice was trying to coach in the background as well. its a sound for distress i must say,haha.
**
In exchange, these South African friends of ours are also happy that we love the song we heard played on Pam's ipod one barbeque evening we attended at their house.
we loved it too much that we decided to learn the lyrics from them, and sing and dance to it.
their faces laughing but beaming with happiness that we love a SA song.
its a song called "Los Lappie"
here's the clip..
Ana and i loved it..but obviously, they were laughing because apparently it has a rude meaning. it means loose women/men,hahaha..
who knew South African-Filipino music exchange will be between rude, or crappy music, yet end up satisfying to both parties?
she was feeling down. unmotivated and just feeling overall lousy.
it was a saturday, the 3rd of july, but believing that going out and meeting friends will pick her up and put back the smile to an already 'age-ing face', she ignored her mood and gathered all selfwill left of her.
so she mustered the energy to dress up. donned on a cheap high street frock, but sunshiny enough to put a spring in her flipflopped soles.
first off was at her friend's penny's.
but because the husband forgot to bring the pressie, they headed back home again the moment they arrived in the carpark.
they bickered. like they do, on every social function they go to because somehow, one is always forgetting something, and then like every other social function they go to, they get over it once theyre out of the car, because he always say something funny that makes her laugh.
(with the birthday girl penny)
(the jampacked garden)
she met alot of familiar faces (family of penny's. and some close friends, and some acquainted over the years for that annual penny barbeque get together., ad oh, natasha and her new boyfriend was there too!).
then afterwards, a curry and rib steak at Cheryl's to meet Emil, a visiting south african friend of Cheryl and Glens..
(cheryl and emil. emil works for a diplomatic office in SA)
(he looks very macho, but let me tell you, he is as gay as gay can be---luvverly. i was in love with him. he talks with panache and just gives that whiff of a previous life working in SA movie industry).
she and him went home at 2 am. him, worse for wear, after bottles 'strongbow' and 'carlsberg'.
she, again the chauffeur to home, tired and smiling. at last.
Sadness overwhelms me. its quite weird because the sun is full in its shining glory from the moment you wake and up until 9pm, and i always associated my temporal sadness to this country's grey skies.
Can you imagine eating dinner when you feel like its lunch time still? the sun gives that impression. The sun has been very faithful lately and it gives you that sense of being awake, no matter how little sleep you've had the night before.
Ennui has come over me again, maybe, because i have been out of touch to alot of people dear to me, and my husband comes home to an already tired and depleted wife, while whatever energy left of him is out to tend to his garden which needs some TLC of water. The lack of rain is becoming evident, amidst adrian's blooming garden.
There is not much to do, and there is so little motivation to do it. (I was always known to be someone who cant deal with being on my own, thus maybe the demotivation). This is the cross to bear when you live far and away from people dear and close to you. The husband can only do so much with a wife who cannot be excited to do anything or motivated to be doing other than slumping infront of the television after a long day's work. Come weekend, im too exhausted to even think about socialising. Although my husband is a continuous source of joy and comfort, there is that space inside you that can only be fulfilled by family, by longtime friends, who know you inside out.
So please, bear with me the next few weeks, while i battle with my own demons. I know, sooner or later,(after some self reflection and some time with friends) my spirit would have nourished itself and it will come back in time to reclaim ME..deep down, no matter how i come across, or how i seem to be, i do care, and i am trying to be gentle with hearts close to me, no matter sometimes, taking care of mine, is put in the backdoor.
***
some pictures from the front of the house..
im showing off Adrian's hardwork (im talking about the flowers being in full bloom as he has no talent in landscaping whatsoeveer,haha). He is amazing, as he is quite a busy man, yet he has so much time for his garden, for me and for the house. Where he gets his energy i dont know.
i sometimes, wish im like him. so gallantly confident, not clingy for attention and love, not overbearing, and so kind with words.
his back garden is in full bloom with fruit and vegetable produce, and even more flowers. I will take pictures of them when ive cleared out the rockery that he still have not finished, It just looks chaos right now.
one of the many pots he revived
the side of the house is a spurt of colour...these flowers are such beautiful decoration to an ageing house
some of his blooms..he has this profound love for his plants and flowers, and you can tell that the saying that "gardening is a relaxing hobby" is true, as it extends to Adrian's personality. He is chilled and so relaxed, i envy him. i am the exact opposite. i worry about everything. i lose sleep over the most trivial of things.
***
just sharing all these..coz maybe, once i press the send button, i might feel the sun in my veins, and start reclaiming lost summer days fretting over the future which may not be mine to start with.
this, after just having been here for a month last november, 2009.
she still has a few months left on her visa, i thought, might as well have her here.
i could use some inspirational company.
by the time she leaves, a few months on, my cousin Karla will be coming too (pending the visa application, because as from experience, visa for tourists can be very tricky).
im excited to have Ana here, because spring will be at its best by then, and flowers would start to blossom. and the sun will be out to play. it would at least be different to the gray skies they had when they were here in November.
that means, i will have a photography buddy with me and someone who could be my companion when adrian's busy with business.
im sure you can imagine my excitement from where you're reading this..
***
Mama has no time left on her visa because all the months that she was given was spent on waiting for Ana and Roi to receive theirs.
Roi, like Ana, still has a few months left, but is enrolled in a chef-ing course, so he wont be able to come.
Ana is the perfect visitor. By the time she goes back to Cebu in May, its enrollment for her university studies.
***
some funny moments i had with my sister..and she is my favourite.
she and her love for granny glasses
she and ruby were staying at the guest room in our house when i was in cebu in december. and her in her london clothes which she might need to dig up again..LOL
my barkadas from long way back still call her "baby ana" because she used to be so young when she used to come with us on our night-about-town..around 9 years old? LOL..i know, im a bad influence of an ate=)
and this is ruby(my cousin who is like my sister too)...my second high school graduate (soon)..she will be graduating in march
***
my siblings has such great news but that will be on the next entry..
My placement educator,Louise, has been emailing me when i was in cebu. She was updating me on which placement i was getting for the new year that will help towards my hours of internship to complete my degree.
When i got the word from her that i was going to be assigned in a prison hall (a very popular one in the country) to do my placement, i was a little bit frazzled. One of the things i specifically asked them that im not keen to do, is a placement in prison (im scared of the aggressiveness of prison inmates. Adrian said i watched too many "Bad Girls" episode,LOL).
Succeeding emails with her, she said, that i was the one HIGHLY RECOMMENDED by our course director (our equivalent of DEAN) in the university,i felt, i needed to say 'yes'.
but truth be told, i am still nervous. flattered, but nervous.
when i got back to the UK, i spoke with my placement educator on the phone, and she said how 'all praises' the Dean was about me, and that when this placement came up to their list, the first name the dean said was my name.
I told Louise, that's very flattering, unless of course the Dean thinks i should be put in prison, i have all the reason to be highly honored.
Louise went on to explain that this placement is the hardest out of the roster this year. Apart from this placement is unique in its own sense, this placement is a ROLE EMERGING placement.
Louise said, the very reason F, the Dean, thought of me was because, a role emerging placement means the OT practiitioner has to make the OT model in the prison, and that I would have to evidence why there is a need for Occupational Therapy in the prison.
Dang.
If anything could make you sweat in the middle of winter, are words from people who will give you your grades and pressure you into something you find too daunting.
She ended our phone conversation by giving me a rundown of the responsibilities i needed to go through and a brief background of the prison.
One word: yaiks!
Tomorrow is the start of this new journey into 'knowing myself more' whether i could hack it.
You will know soon. I will be pouring my heart (and guts) in here, whether i'd love it or hate it.
jiiizzz wiizzz, nothing irritates me more than not being able to comment on my own blog.
this blog, i can post new updates, i can post/approve comments, but i cannot comment or reply on the blogs (i love replying to comments, as you probably now have noticed, it does not matter if people do not comment, because really, we sometimes, dont have something to say to all posts we read, but when people comment on my posts, i just find it courtesy to reply back).
(weird, coz the other site,the pansies and lilac ambitions one, i could comment there..maybe, my computer curse strikes again,huhuhu).
this site does not pull out my name even if im logged on...
i wonder if i should log out, and comment..(hmmnn, will try that after this post).
i am really annoyed, but according to my friend, if the one you're getting annoyed at will not know that you're annoyed at them,no use keeling over dead because of it. i must agree, blogspot/my template/computer will never know, that im seething with frustration here..
bless the heavily battered keyboard.
***
*currently looking for ways to sort this problem out*
***
*currently also using my sister's laptop, and the new-household favourite plug-in mobile internet*
i went to uni today with my classmates shouting that my left eye is bleeding.
they were exaggerating of course (just bloodshot, too bloodshot infact that i was rushed to the clinic).
i had saline solution poured on my left eye, and made told to rest it.
could this be a forwarning signal of what's to come?
remember, my father died blind due to his diabetes.
if so, i will feast my eyes with only beautiful things to see from now hereafter..before i totally lose my sight.
note to self: -watch all favourite movies again... -read beautiful photograhic books -indulge at ogling at eye candies of both sex (hehe) -horde on all the beautiful,coloful things i could get my hands at paperchase -travel and take pictures of beautiful memories (places and people)
and most of all..
-all mirrrors need to be taken away..
korek!
**
katawa katawa lang ni ron, pero gikulbaan diay akong pahak.
**
PS..im off..im to my floristry class again! tata!!!
childhood memories of having fresh flowers every week (from the sunday rose vendor), or when my mom comes home from church, always have a fresh bouquet of flowers for the altar, have probably meant that i carried that tradition on to adulthood.
adrian and i have have fresh flowers every two weeks (flowers last longer due to the climate) for the front room, hallway and dining area.
every dinner party, i sometimes cut flowers from adrian's flowers (but he gets angry everytime i do that, so i stopped), so i end up being friends with the flower market guy at the local market so i could haggle a fresh basket or two and do my own arranging.
everytime were invited to dinner, i bring fresh flowers to the lady of the house, wile adrian brings a bottle of french wine.
apart from my pots of plants by the kitchen where i could gaze lovingly at it, while doing the dishes.
so really, it was about time, adrian thought of enrolling me in a flower arranging course. sadly all the courses offered are VERY expensive and it was impractical too. there are cheaper ones, but i think the way they arrange their flowers put me off.
good thing, Whole Foods Market was offering flower arranging courses taught by their resident flower lady Wanda. it was cheap(er) and you could bring home the arrangement you make.
every month, they feature a module of arranging. last night was about modern hanging arrangement...
it was exciting. and i was engrossed that i didnt realize the 3 hour lesson just flew so quickly.
im excited to do the ikebana arrangement for the next lesson. ( i vaguely remember ikebana arrangement lesson from my elementary HE classes).
my own arrangement, prior to attending any class...a mishmash of flowers, and sometimes, no coherence,haha=)but i promise to improve from now on..=) i love lilies, carnations,mums..
i cant believe i made this...okey, it still look's too busy but Wanda (the teacher) gave me a two thumbs up and a wink saying it's good,LOL..:-)a combination of dahlia's,grandiosa's,rose, wildberries,eucalyptus and ivy=)
***
photos from the class.
wanda is the girl with the flower in her hair
some classmates..we got different ideas,lol
thats Corran, a classmate..she's so posh, you'd think she's related to the queen..and she speaks like her too=)
thats emma, Corran's niece..and they went to class together..
unfinished business..mine, what a mess, this class.
busy, they are=)
me with my take-home arrangement..
**
care to come to the next session with me?=)
**
after that, i met with my husband who was faithfully reading a book and drinking latte by the foodcourt, and excited for an advenure to where to eat next=)
photos from my mobile phone--are as blurry as those in dreams...
*
i had the weirdest and the most disturbing dream.
apparently i posted a sex video (uh-huh, you read it right) of myself and a boyfriend of mine on this blog just before i slept last night.
in that dream, i thought, i was brave and was feeling too secure in my little blog,and that those that read this are people i know. (weird right? well, read on, it gets weirder,haha)
okey, in my dream, apparently, i received a phone call, from a friend, to "please review your blog, its causing chaos on the internet"..[naunsa man ko oi, does that mean i have katrina halili-ambition?]
so i reviewed the video, and it turned out, it was a video of mine and adrian, and that it was causing sensation because it was a birthday party video...
first, let me laugh out loud.
secondly, let me reiterate, there is NO SUCH VIDEO. (on all levels, they were just concoction of a sleep induced brain...video's werent uso then..and my gosh, virgin pa akong beauty kaniadto,LOL *i swear on my neighbors life*).
third, let me laugh out loud again.--why on earth did i take out the video (angrily) because it wasnt a sex video??? hahaha, weirdness on all levels. why was i more disappointed that it was a birthday party? *see, my dreams of becoming a sexpot are coming out of my sleepy ears*.
and also, why would a birthday party video cause "national sensation"?? please explain.
but then,it was just a dream after all. nothing makes sense.
just like real life.
* eat your heart out katrina halili...while you sang careless whisper in your bikini..i was singing, "happy birthday to you", and still caught internet sensation,LOL.
A and i practiced hiking for 2 hours, around the reservoir area located locally to us..
good excuse to break our shoes in, to get used to hiking shoes, before going on our hiking minibreak at the Peak District on the bank holiday weekend...
before you're thinking im a hiking convert, not really. im just doing this for a birthday celebration for a friend who is turning 30 that weekend, Chelson.
Chelson is a hiking fanatic and he goes on these tours 4 to 6 times a year..his main goal is to do the Himalayas. but because he is with his "unfit" friends..he is doing a steady excursion in the Peak District this time.
*
these are photos done while practicing with our new walking shoes...and it wasnt that easy, *pant,pant*
into the woods
in the garden eden, adam was posing for eve..lol.
still summery
back to Adam and Eve..where's eve?
looking for clues
birdwatching...we didnt have telescopes..were not birdwatchers at all,LOL.
coming out of the dingy dark birdwatching box...(i forgot what it was called)
there are stories behind silences, pregnant pauses and thwarted thoughts.
what goes behind the curtains, is written.
this is evidence of a life lived, thoughts evoked and emotions stoked, when the time comes for goodbyes.
