misnomer,non!

in my conversation with my sister about my supergirlfriends, i called them by their supergirl names...

"aileen is Lightchaser, Mai-the earth Goddess or the Shutterfairy, therese- mommybizniz, (you follow now?), etc, so on and so forth"..

Ana asked "ikaw teh? whats your supergirl name?"

Me: "ambot, Ragen the Virgin seems so outdated" LOL

Ana said: "ahhh i know..."


Me: "unsa man?"


Ana: "the Hidden Flippax"... [in reference to my two blogspots: flippantpages and hiddenrage..]


(laughter)


hmmmnn, i sometimes wonder whether my family truly respect me as they should,LOL.


***


the truth is, its actually true, deep down, im as crazy as a psychaedilic colours that dont match...


***


moral of the story: next time i open a blog. i'll name it something nice,LOL.

reality sinks in

i have come to realize: gosh, im actually just TWO WEEKS in cebu this december. the third week in spent on a holiday in another island with family.

take away the christmas holidays and new year celebrations (and the cousins and relatives tete-a-tete), im literally gasping for days to be in my fave island of sugbo. (that makes it literally 1 week of socializings).


i may have been too over zealous in promising people that i will see them..but too optimistic,maybe?


i need to segregate and allocate time.

i know there are some people, that come hail or water, no matter thunder and earthquake, i will not cancel, and i will be a their mercy because they are my constants (in real life or blog life, in happiness and in sadness, and in silliness or seriousness, they are there).


but maybe, this is also call time for me, to show those deserving of my time, attention and effort ,hehe..


because in my trying to be fair,i have been unfair to those who always have been there.


(its probably like being a mother, one cant keep giving recognition to all her twelve children when only one or two has done their part).

sigh, being a good friend, is easy....being a fair friend, is the hardest.


***


i wish i am a real supergirl...

*summoning wonder woman's powers*



***



and a Mika udate...







(Mika's photos taken by her dad's mobile)..



my little niece is growing big and strong *buyag*..

she is now 5 kilos plus..and to think she''s barely two months..apparently she drinks way too much milk,and does the usual baby business of sleeping the entire time.

everytime i see her photo, it just makes me happy. so happy in fact, that i know whatever life throws us, it will be okay.

now, if God didnt plan me to be a cool dudette of a mom..who said, i cant be the coolest kick-ass aunt there is?

*karate face*

the impending visit

my Mama, August 2008 taken by the D200..


***


my mama is visiting me for two months.

she is expected to land at heathrow via british airways on wednesday morning. (another blog altogether..im still debating whether i'll go absent from uni that day, or take her with me to uni..adrian doesn't think i should leave my mom on her own because she'll feel lonely left on her own on her first day.. i agree, but i dont think i could miss the session that day as its the bulk of our thesis..what to do??).

needless to say, i am so excited and im so over the moon.

i want my mama to have the best time of her life. she deserves this vacation for the longest time..this was postponed 3x already. once with papa's birth certificate problem, then secondly when papa died, and last july when Ana and Roi's visa holdup..

[speaking of Ana and Roi---they have the option of coming this November for 5 weeks--due to their schedules, and or early next year, for two to three months..i'd know as soon as Ana finishes her finals]

i have some things lined up for my mama already. (the whole family in fact...) sights to see, plays to watch, activities to do...but i also am careful not to get carried away, because sometimes, fate does not let you forget that it has its own mind..no matter the careful planning and orchestrating of things to happen, if fate does not will it, it will not happen.


and certainly, with all the above in mind, i have some niggling worries in my head:

-will she enjoy england in autumn?

its dark and wet for most times of the day. you wake up to darkness, and the gray coloured skies.. if youre not used to it, will speak of sadness and melancholy. im glad, i have gotten used to it. i have now embraced the grayness with openness and calm, instead of my usual resistance. but it took me years to get adjusted.


-what will she do when im at work? at uni?

i have one month leave in november to be with her, but there is still the remaining days of october for her to be cooped up alone in the house for most weekdays. will she think of home most of the time? will she cry and feel abandoned?


-would she love our 'to do" list?

the usual touristy stuff (buckingham palace, kensington, museums, harrods,tower of london,etc)..and boy oh boy, the 'secret' unusual untouristy things ive set out for her. but will she enjoy tea, scones and english ceremonial teas,the markets we can trawl, the antiques on display at portobello market road, my 'suki' photoshop, the fish mongers at billingsgate and the malling dates i have penned.


-will she enjoy the food?

i have restaurants for her to try. i know im in for a treat because my mama will cook for me at least 3-4x a week, and the rest will be eating out. but will she feel elated to hear that we are eating out? would she rather stay in the comfort of home and eat what's familiar and usual?



-will she bear the cold?

i still struggle with the chill. i hope she will bear it effortlessly.


with all hopes, i pray she will enjoy the experience...and of course, that she will be safe on her flight, as shes travelling on her own.

one thing i will not doubt though, i know she will miss her one and only granddaughter Mika..


***

i cannot contain my excitement..im going to have my mama for myself, for a few weeks, (until Ana and Roi could get here), is something i look forward to.

my heart is dancing in happiness..

***

how is your heart lately my lovelies?

beauty

being beautiful is how you feel.

i feel rotten most days. i know,maybe because the face that greets me (in the mirror) in the morning, is a face you would only encounter during nightmares and occasional horror movies.

but give me a few hours, id feel beautiful again. this is after a slather of cosmetics. (ive taken photos of myself, with and without make up, there is a marked difference,ok, so ayaw pakiglalis,LOL..*think: juiceko, unsa nalang gyud kaha kung wala'y make up noh?* exactly!hehe).

even when someone compliments me (out of politeness or whatever), i dont feel it.

its not about lack of confidence, its about reality .

and not being delusional.

i know where im good at, i know which areas i need to flaunt, and aha, beauty was never my strongest points.

but when i put on a nice outfit, a wonderful pair of shoes, a hint of jo malone's, and a dab of blusher, then id feel 'yup, my confidence goes up a notch'.

i dont have hang ups about my looks. it does not bother me because i dont need it for my job and most esp with the kind of friends i keep (theyd rather you're inteligent, talented and humanistic than be a dumbtwit dollface...=)

and in my family, youre beautiful if youre funny, so i always thought i was beautiful growing up. (only to realize that in the real world, beauty is a different definition).

in my teenage years,i was lucky enough to have found men(err boys) who found my personality 'sexy' and called me beautiful (in short, nakailad sad ko'g ubay-ubay).

in my thirties now,and married, and has no plans whatsover to beautify myself for 'boys' but for myself, i seem to have known what to do...my magic wand aka make up brushes, will remedy it, albeit temporarily.

so whats the problem you ask?

i do somehow get bothered, that sometimes, in the middle of the night, i go to the loo, and forget there's a mirror somewhere.

that mirror, when a hint of light grazes it, i sometimes, scare myself.

how pathetic is that?!


***


how about you, amaze (amuse) me,with your wits, tell me:


1) what makes you feel beautiful?..


2) what makes you feel 'not so beautiful' (for those who never felt this, skip number 2,LOL)


3)how do you see yourself now? beautywise?..(can i just say, you're all beautiful to me)...


im tagging: you: therese, chichi, aileen, maimai, jane,patricia, ankai,...and all those who want to tell me what their definition of beauty is about...xxx

therapeutic day at uni

creative writing in the morning...

animal (dog) therapy in the afternoon...





**

tomorrow--- qualitative analysis of statistical datas...


great.


***


i cant believe it.

one week from today, my Mama is landing at heathrow (pohon).

and i will gain 10 lbs (at least) from there onwards.

xxx