the girl who saw the doctor

and was told to rest her flaming throat, and was given antibiotics.

she was also told to get much TLC and rest.

so TLC she was given.

lots and lots of it.

she was indulged in her craving for pancakes (from he Coffeehouse).

and was indulged in getting a new bedsheet for the second bedroom from Ikea. (and some smelly votives,haha).


***

some photos from my Dinky Niki coolpix whilst having brunch, after a doctor's appointment.




the one who nurses me..=)

the sick and the (un)beautiful

i slurped my coffee like a thirsty leech

i was craving for these today..out of the blue..the first thing that came up to my mind when Adrian asked me what i wanted to eat.




Adrian had the full english

something special




the place..its beautiful inside and out..

***

it was also the place where THIS happened...

the girl with the chinese lantern obsession

..because Adrian bought me my longed-for wish: chinese lanterns, i decided, it was time for a bbq..




i had some friends over on Saturday.


some photos taken the day after the BBQ...i wasnt able to whip out my big Nikons during the BBQ because it was hard being the host and taking photos too..


so i will be backtracking photos. the next entry will be photos from that BBQ night from my canon g10..=)



















dont you think they're the cutest?



***


everyone commented on them when they came in..


last night, my stepson had a meal with us, and he also commented on these beautiful lights..

theyre tiny but they're adorable.

now, i want to send some to my little house in talisay,haha.


***

PS. i woke up so late and feverish. and again, semi-deaf in one ear. ive been getting this ear problem lately.

im sure i have an infection, nothing that a good strong antibiotic (and freshly squeezed orange juice) cant cure.

stay healthy lovelies.

xxx

film fetish,incoherence and backblogs

i have two packs of these babies for my polaroid camera, and a fresh two 10 pc pack of fuji instax.

i want to use them, anticipating to do, yet, i have been holding back because im scared to waste them on useless scenery that doesnt warrant capturing (as i do on my digital slr's most of the time,*nyorknyork*)


i still have to scan alot of instants i took the day Ana was leaving for the Philippines, yet, i am bothered that my blog is neither here,there,everywhere,so inconsistent and yes, illogical.

which leads me to another point.

i envy those bloggers who are able to blog in consistent sequence with regards to their acitivites in time (Aileen, Mai,Lynette are you all reading this?).

i am not.

i still have photos from way back ancient 2008, then when my mom was here, and some photos from Ana's visit.

i worry, i will have dementia before i can get to blogging them down.

currently, i can blog about something that happened today, then post photos from way back 2007, or christmas 2009, then back to summer 2008.

it is indeed true, our blogs are a true reflection of ourselves: in my case: incoherent,oftentimes backwards, sometimes too forward, and never here.

oh well, tomorrow, i might post photos of yesterday, but then again, who knows? maybe adrian's pictures from way back 1960s.

honestly, i am as clueless as the lady who brings stale sandwhich packs to the hospital every lunch time.

morning has broken

(photo: a lovely cottage we passed by during our hiking jaunt

in August, 2009,

Dove Dale,Peak District)




***


you know that feeling that someone just whacked you in the head with something hard and blunt? painful?...but not too painful to kill your lights out? well, thats how i felt the day this happened.

after all the assurances of my love ones that the cousin in question was out of order, i'm beginning to feel my breathing is coming on its normal rhythm, less of the short hard gasps i was experiencing that very day.

i guess, anger does that to me. i presume, it does to everyone.

just when you get over the anger, there is sadness. sadness, that you get a reminder about family squabbles, resentment and general bad feeling, which you just started to get over from.


and even more sadness, that its not over. yet.



***

after talking to people i love, i am reassured that the outburst of that cousin was because he has been having a bad time lately. (works, and family related).

i will give him that.


i also warned them that if the cousin's mom would come and visit, they should avoid small talks and getting entrapped into a conversation that might lead being misinterpreted.


sad,isnt it? that it has come to this?

its not family anymore, if you start to be careful and be wary about what you say to them.

definitely, you should be yourself with your relatives, and be able to share freely and laugh, and joke around, but when one has to tread carefully, i dont know if that is a kind of relationship i want to keep at all.


the signs are there..

one should move on.


***

the husband is turning a year older this thursday (28th). we are off to enjoy a meal at a fine dining chinese restaurant with Mark (my stepson), and my inlaws Anne and Alan.

on Friday night, we are celebrating his birthday with friends Glenn and Cheryl at our favourite indian hangout.

oh the joys of food!

something that always make me smile.

something to definitely make me smile.

Stranded

I am writing from a hotel room in Hongkong.



Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I now belong to the statistics of people who have had the pleasure (mispleasure) of being bumped up to a different flight because the plane you were in did not make it in time for the connecting flight.



The plane from Heathrow, left at 2:45 pm instead of 11:3- due to snow and other issues with the runway.



We arrived in Hongkong this morning, at 9:30am, and obviously missed our 9:05 am flight to cebu.



Cathay Pacific already aranged accommodation for us at the Regal Hotel Airport (the name sounds tacky, but its not that bad...I could compare it to the Renaissance Hotel in Manila..Yummy Asian banquets,LOL) for an overnight stay until our flight tomorrow at 4:00pm.



Sleepless, stressed, hungry (i cant seem to build an appetite when im flying), Adrian and I battled wills to get over the sadness and depression of a flight delayed. The thought of family waiting for you at the airport, (plus the maaaany itineraries you have already arranged for the day), and food waiting to bedevoured (sutukil tradition every pick up-at-the-airport day), (plus the pleasure of meeting my niece Mika) were so near, yet impossibly far.





Adhering to a long term commitment to seeing things at the other spectrum, we decided to maximise our stay in HK.





So what to do?



-shower (to perk us up)



-sleep...



after a sumptious Asian buffet lunch (all meals provided for us by Cathay Pacific in the hotel), Adrian and i slumbered and woke up til 6PM.



-eat



another Asian/Japanese banquet at the hotel's restaurant for dinner



-shop,shop,shop



went to Mongkok (Ladies Night Market) for the night, and waaaahh, i tell you, i know who in my family would love a tour there (hear ye Karla, Ana and Mamsy)...pag save namo daan sa inyong HK dollars,LOL.



bought some gifts to bring to my love ones.





Not bad for being stranded,really. *convincing myself*







***





Adrian and i had the opportunity to fly business class via Cathay Pacific to Hongkong in AUgust 2008. It was because we fly Cathay Pacific everytime, we earned mileage points which accummulated to a roundtrip non refundable plane ticket.



The date of the ticket was August 4,2008, right after our 5th anniversary party, but we were sidetracked with how enjoyable cebu (verytime were there) and being with love ones is, we decided not to use our tickets.



Adrian and i laughed about it today, when we remember that. I asked him "did you regret not using those tickets".



"No regrets honey, no regrets".



Pa cute gyud ni's manoy oi.





***





Tomorrow, Adrian and i are planning to go to the city. Our flight isnt until 4 pm so we have the time to dawdle in the place. But we decided to leave Disneyland off the list. Its reserved for 2012 for a 'bangka' i promised to my family (God willing).



So really, all the stress, and almost teary-eyed me, was all for nothing.



I got to eat the seafood i was craving, i got to see HK, and i had the chance to sleep and relax.



The only thing i feel cheated about, is the fact that im spending less time with my family (1 day and a half less)and that i could not kiss Mika's face sooner.





Bantay lang gyud ugma bah! Pohon,pohon...





Please pray everything goes well tomorrow.


***


Photos from today...



the Japanese buffet from the international buffet..busog na naman!!!





it feels like Colon, all of a sudden...




starbucks...to wake me up..





there's a car on top of a taxi,LOL...cute photo at the airport tonight..

punching a hacker

i hate hackers. i have been a victim of hacking long time ago, so i know how it feels.

this was the closest to me punching a hacker.

i opened an old email of mine (the one linked to my high school yahoo group), and found that my friend Therese's hacker left a message for me.

so i left a message back. i let him/her know, her game's up.

From BNWs

but really, if he/she was infront of me, he/she would be getting more than just a slap on the wrist.



***

on other news, i have been extremely busy. this is my most stressful week.

my family is leaving on sunday (13th) and this week is assignment handing-in week. to put those two together is crazy.

not to mention having guests who are here for only a period of time, meant having parties every week (at least). or being invited to parties in honor of them, apart from touring them around (during the days), and me slaving at the computer (at nights where were not partying or going out).


i also have been foolish to book myself for a photographic photoshop/printing course months ago, thinking that my family would have been here and gone for their planned July trip. but the July trip was never to become and became a November-December affair. i went to the course on Saturday (5th of december) for a whole day, when i/we didnt get home til 2 am from a party the night before that was done in honor for my Mama and sibs done by my close friends the Donns(Cheryl and Glenn).

upon arriving home,after the course, i went home to a full house, as we had Adrian's son Paul and his girlfriend with us for the night to celebrate a christmas meal for the next day (with Adrian's entire family). the next day Sunday (6th) was just as exhausting as we had to be up early and do a 10 kilo organic turkey for the christmas meal (and other christmassy traditional food that came with it: gammon, mince pies, pudding, etc)we were making.

that day was a christmas party for the family as Adrian and i were not celebrating christmas in England this year. So Adrian's sons and Adrian's siblings/my inlaws were around for that. My Mama, Ana and Roi, had their first English christmas lunch and how authentic can one have it but have it in England and sharing it with the new extended family.

That day ended really late, and most late esp for me because i was buying time to do my assignments too.


Needless to say, I am so looking forward to my (well deserved) vacation in Cebu with a big grin and no worries on my mind (please God).

You know what they say, whatever doesnt kill you, makes you stronger. If i survive essays and research with christmas parties all around, and family visiting, and still enjoy it, im sure, id be enjoying my vacation even more, sans assignment deadlines, and it will be me who's being given the tour.

*looking for my sunnies*

neglectful but not out of choice..

i'm first to admit, i have not been very diligent leaving my comments on my girls' blogs recently, but its not because i have not tried. i did. but i have two powers against me.

1st off: time.

-gosh, i never knew i thought i'd show a longing face whenever someone mention's the word "sleep". time seems to be such a commodity with me these days.

for instance, tonight, i just came back from my brother in law's birthday party. the whole afternoon today was spent out with the family buying christmas present-shopping. the morning was spent organizing my university project,and going to the hospital to borrow some equipment for my 'movie'...(re: movie: is an assignment i have been working on the last few weeks..its a DVD presentation regarding a case study).

every single day,we are out of the house doing touristy stuff. the whole weekend was spent in Stonehenge and Bath. if its not that, its in London doing touristy rites of passages: ie: the London Eye, Tower of London, Madame Tussaud's, Kensington Palace,etc..


those above, and university days, not to mention working on my essays.

during the nights, im either working on a book for research, or having tete-a-tete with visiting family, if were not out and about somewhere.


and because of time constraints, i feel im so sleep deprived.



Second: blog templates

-i have said this again, some people's blogs have 'embed' comment..i cant comment on those formats for some reason..but i can on 'pop-up' comments. (paging Aileen...i suddenly cant comment on your blog, whereas i was able to, the other night *scratches balding crown*).



***

I never thought too that I would miss my laptop this much. its suddenly when now, using Ana's laptop made me realize i had a 'good one' which loved me unconditionally. it sat here for me for ages, but i mistook it for dutiful service of a relatively expensive laptop.

but all laptops go to heaven too.

mine is in the icu (intensive care unit) for laptops.

i promise to kiss it when it comes back. Adrian asked me whether i would like a new laptop for christmas, i felt a sudden pang of missing my old one. it was still in good condition (it was just 3 years old).


when it comes back from the repair centre, i promise to appreciate what it was for--an extension of my life.



***

here's a photo of me, just in case you forgot how i look like now.LOL...




( im at least 10 pounds more heavier than in that photo..that photo was taken on 15th of November..blame it on mama's cooking).

good news; not-so-good news

the past few weeks have been crazy, for good and bad reasons:

i need to sort out my head, so i'm writing it all down. lest someone takes heart on me...=)


***


good news:

-my mama has been with us for more than a month now, and so far,she has been enjoying it.

-my sister and brother arrived here on friday the 13th. we had a big party on the night they arrived and invited the filipino friends ive met here so they could meet my mom. it was a successful evening, and it was enjoyable one too.

- since then, weve been out and about trying to let them enjoy their stay.




bad news:

- two weeks ago (on a saturday) the internet at home packed up. a week after, it came back.

on monday (the 9th of november), it packed up again, and rang our internet provider to send a technician. thursday, the technician turned up, but said, it wasnt our modem that's problematic, but THEIR signal. (after letting us wait for days for a technician to come to the house? they knew their signal was defective, why didnt they tell us on booking for a technician's visit?? *scratching my pahak*).

the worst of all,they are not that concerned to get the signal up and running as they know that their signal was defective around our area for weeks now, they still have not done anything about it. i asked them 'when do you think this will be sorted out?". "it depends..it could be days, or weeks"...if i answered the same answer when they ask for payment, i wonder how they would feel.

-so that very same night, i had to get an internet connection! (assignments research and adrian's work depend on the internet..not to mention my need to read/answer blogs), adrian and i (and mama) went to get an internet plug-in connection. excited, we went home thinking i could get on, and read blogs, i attached the plug-in to my laptop. guess what happened next: my laptop died!!! my laptop died!!! talk about bad timing.


-adrian's desktop does not enable wireless internet, so we could not use it either.

-on saturday, we were finally able to use the plug-in internet, using Ana's laptop. (thank goodness ,Ana brought a laptop).

-for some reason, i cannot comment on my own blogs. (this blog specifically). when i need to comment on some people's blogs, certain blogspots template will not pull out my name,thus making me unable to comment on blogs. it would not budge no matter what!!! talk about "grrrrr" moment.


***

so far, i'm waiting for the people who are trying to retrieve the data on my damaged laptop.

i am so annoyed, but i guess, fate balances it out..because im enjoying so much blessings, i guess, something has got to give.

id rather it my internet connection, and laptop gone kaput, than something else.

i miss you all.


*sorry no photos yet* this is Ana's new laptop, and she has not installed the photoshop on this laptop yet.

the impending visit

my Mama, August 2008 taken by the D200..


***


my mama is visiting me for two months.

she is expected to land at heathrow via british airways on wednesday morning. (another blog altogether..im still debating whether i'll go absent from uni that day, or take her with me to uni..adrian doesn't think i should leave my mom on her own because she'll feel lonely left on her own on her first day.. i agree, but i dont think i could miss the session that day as its the bulk of our thesis..what to do??).

needless to say, i am so excited and im so over the moon.

i want my mama to have the best time of her life. she deserves this vacation for the longest time..this was postponed 3x already. once with papa's birth certificate problem, then secondly when papa died, and last july when Ana and Roi's visa holdup..

[speaking of Ana and Roi---they have the option of coming this November for 5 weeks--due to their schedules, and or early next year, for two to three months..i'd know as soon as Ana finishes her finals]

i have some things lined up for my mama already. (the whole family in fact...) sights to see, plays to watch, activities to do...but i also am careful not to get carried away, because sometimes, fate does not let you forget that it has its own mind..no matter the careful planning and orchestrating of things to happen, if fate does not will it, it will not happen.


and certainly, with all the above in mind, i have some niggling worries in my head:

-will she enjoy england in autumn?

its dark and wet for most times of the day. you wake up to darkness, and the gray coloured skies.. if youre not used to it, will speak of sadness and melancholy. im glad, i have gotten used to it. i have now embraced the grayness with openness and calm, instead of my usual resistance. but it took me years to get adjusted.


-what will she do when im at work? at uni?

i have one month leave in november to be with her, but there is still the remaining days of october for her to be cooped up alone in the house for most weekdays. will she think of home most of the time? will she cry and feel abandoned?


-would she love our 'to do" list?

the usual touristy stuff (buckingham palace, kensington, museums, harrods,tower of london,etc)..and boy oh boy, the 'secret' unusual untouristy things ive set out for her. but will she enjoy tea, scones and english ceremonial teas,the markets we can trawl, the antiques on display at portobello market road, my 'suki' photoshop, the fish mongers at billingsgate and the malling dates i have penned.


-will she enjoy the food?

i have restaurants for her to try. i know im in for a treat because my mama will cook for me at least 3-4x a week, and the rest will be eating out. but will she feel elated to hear that we are eating out? would she rather stay in the comfort of home and eat what's familiar and usual?



-will she bear the cold?

i still struggle with the chill. i hope she will bear it effortlessly.


with all hopes, i pray she will enjoy the experience...and of course, that she will be safe on her flight, as shes travelling on her own.

one thing i will not doubt though, i know she will miss her one and only granddaughter Mika..


***

i cannot contain my excitement..im going to have my mama for myself, for a few weeks, (until Ana and Roi could get here), is something i look forward to.

my heart is dancing in happiness..

***

how is your heart lately my lovelies?

nice to finally meet you

i am still in awe of the vicar's words during the service yesterday for hazel's funeral.

he talked about hazel and how she was during her younger years. the vicar made a point to talk to Graham (H's son) and John and asked what Hazel liked during her time to incorportate for his talk.

things i learned about H because of the vicar's beautiful sermon:


-she was born in England and moved to Australia when she was in her twenties.
-came back to england and travelled extensively.
-Hazel was a lover of arts..she paints during her spare hours.
-she was an active member of the conservatives political party.
-she was a happy mommy to Graham and spoilt him a bit too much.
-she was into flower arranging. (i can relate)
-she was into jazz music (this one too)


at the crematorium, the music for the service was a happy jazz music because that was what she liked.


i found it sad that i only knew Hazel at her funeral..how God did not make it possible for me to know her that much..

and yet, i still grieved for her..and for John who has lost a partner of many a decades.


***

what stuck to my mind was at the church, the vicars words resonated so much to me. it was as if he was directly talking to me..

it went something like this:


"today is the time to remember hazel for how she was in our life,and what we were in hers,no mater how little or insignificant it may seem...let us remember the fun and the sad times,or the ordinary times, we were together, no matter how fleeting... let us treasure that.that we had those moments with Hazel, no matter how short or ordinary it may have seemed...

today also is the time to be sorrowful that we have lost her to our maker, but let us not forget to look forward, and that we have hazel in our memories to cherish.

most importantly to be thankful..thank our Lord for the times, we have shared with Hazel and that she was able to share those precious experiences with us."


*i was imagining the last time i saw her, at hers and john's house, it was valentines day and i read to her john's card that he wrote for her..she was watching television and she could hardly talk but when i read to her the card, she was teary eyed and smiled at me..

i also remembered how i helped her to her wheelchair at the christmas/boxing day party held at Alan's house..she was in so much pain then and was muttering muffled sounds*

it made those fleeting moments seem magnanimous, and forever cemented in my brain now somehow..


***

when we were asked to bow down our heads to be thankful for those moments, i also said some thankful prayers for all those im grieving for.

peole who i grieve for every single day, and ache for at certain moments and celebrations of my life.


you hear me Paps?


**

thank you God, for showing me ways of unburdening this ghost i carry in my heart.