i found these treasures from longlost classmates from elementary and high school.
i find these photos as treasures of mine because they are one of the very few that i have left of my old photos.
in my high school uniform ..thank you Boots
in my elementary years ..thank you Pamela
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lost ones:
my family was unfortunate to have been victims of a fire, that along with the house that burned down, were memorabilias of our life that turned to ashes.
we also moved from islands to islands, that we lost some along the way, some left with the grandmother and auntie from my mom's province, but they did not care for the photos.
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the history of hoarding:
overall, im glad that ive always been a photo fanatic. in high school, my parents were struggling to make ends meet then (my papa's SLR gone,and money was spent more for daily needs than camera), but my cousin Kuya Akong owned a camera, so myself, my cousins, and i would pool in our money and have photoshoots in the house. Karla, Joan, my brothers, and tony will pose by our house in Linao, with kuya akong as the shooter,and i the director.
by the time i worked as a dj, the very first year, i owned a compact nikon camera. (sadly, it was pawned to pay family bills). but that camera took many a photos of the life i had in radio and with the then boyfriend.
by the time i moved to my last job, one of the djs sold his camera to me, another compact nikon,which i still owned until i got married. (it was the official camera of the family when i moved to the UK,but sadly, Ana left it in the province when she shot some photos of a cousin's wedding *im still sad and annoyed thinking about it*).
after then, i had a flurry of different cameras in my hands, and all have stayed with me. a 3megapixel Fuji digicam, sony DSC90, sony T10, Nikon D200, Nikon D700, Canon G10, Polaroid 600, Fuji instax 200, Fuji instax mini (and currently eyeing an Olympus Pen) and no plans of parting with them...
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a sad camera story:
when Ana graduated first honours in MZED school, my mom attended the graduation. Ana was in the same school as cousins of ours. this was the time, we DID NOT own a camera.
all the parents took photos of their children, and of course, an uncle (by marriage..a husband of my father's sister) had nice camera then.
he was there taking photos of his children, and all of the other kids. he was even volunteering to take photos of ana's classmates and friends. he was taking photos of everyone, and taking photos maniacally of everyone EXCEPT when Ana was on stage, and was being given her award.
my mom was so tearful. she never felt so inadequate and so poor. it wasnt about not having owned a camera. it was about how people make you feel less (worse, theyre supposed to be relatives).i think in the end, a mom of Ana's classmate took a photo. MZED was an expensive school (for us) but mama and i made sure ANa went to really good schools. so expensive that all we could (barely) afford was the tuition fee.
when mama told me about it i was livid.
i vowed, i will never ever let anyone feel how we felt when they/He did that to us. (when a friend of my brother's asked me to do their wedding photos and has no budget whatsoever, i had no second thoughts).
its amazing how having a camera makes the difference. but whats important is that you should be able to share, the power that camera brings to people. its not about the machine. its about what the machine can do to people's lives. (its a proof of a moment of time)..
we dont have a single picture of Ana's graduation. but we have a clear image of that pretend-uncle burning in hell. despite the image of church-going-oh-im-holy-i-will-sing-in-false-baritone-voice-for-the-church-and-pretend-i-could-sing-by-miming, he was (and still is) trying to display.
see, dont get me start talking about cameras...it all comes down to that day of Ana's graduation, i felt so inadequate for not owning one that i think subconsciously which explains the hoarding.
and i end up getting angry all over again.
8 comments:
you have lots of cameras now... you will be able to capture the present and lots of wonderful memories in the future. don't get angry anymore, those are what made a part of you now. *hugs*
che, as ive said, its not about the cameras, its about giving to family. it could have been something else, that they had the power to do, but DELIBERATELY did not do for spite.
the greed that reek in those people just embarass me to the hilt.
the fact they go to church and give all their time to singing in choirs, gives me the heebie jeebies.
sadly, i still get angry thinking about it. and it will take time to erase that thought.
your story is all too familiar. *hugs chel* you are right, it's not about the machine (or the money, for that matter), it's what these things do to people's lives or how they make one feel.
you and ana have everything you need now. and more.
and i admire you more, chel, reading this story. despite the things you went through, you have the most generous spirit i know.
ps. that girl beside you in the picture, i think she was with me in one musical. and i swear, i met you in highschool. =D
your story is all too familiar. *hugs chel* you are right, it's not about the machine (or the money, for that matter), it's what these things do to people's lives or how they make one feel.
you and ana have everything you need now. and more.
and i admire you more, chel, reading this story. despite the things you went through, you have the most generous spirit i know.
ps. that girl beside you in the picture, i think she was with me in one musical. and i swear, i met you in highschool. =D
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i swear i met you in HS too!!=)probably through Jingjing or Daisy Baad,LOL.
thank you gyud kaayo. you understand where im coming from. not that i expect people to understand me, but a listening ear, why i am feeling this way to certain people from the family.
all the bullying from the family was too much. that i grates even know when i think about it.
thank you for understanding too, that even if id own the NIKON company, or an entire camera store, it will take time to erase that memory of the person who play's photographer to everyone in Ana's graduation, except for Ana.
that family hated us for a long time. but we forgave them everytime. memories doesnt go quickly, esp those that push you to where you are now..
thank you ai=)
PS: this reminded me coz i saw their faces in facebook commenting on my cousins's upate. not to mention i saw a multiply entry from one of them about a church thing theyr were doing. mutuo gyud ko ug devils dressed in angel clothing. they talk the talk about church...but their friends in church dont know what impostors they are.
not to mention i saw a multiply entry from one of them about a church thing theyr were doing. mutuo gyud ko ug devils dressed in angel clothing. they talk the talk about church...but their friends in church dont know what impostors they are.
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you know, i'm wary about people who serve or who are active in church. there are exceptions, of course. but i know enough people who hide behind the bible, church activities, and "praise the lord, praise the lord with matching saka saka sa kamot" whose batasan even frogs cannot swallow. these people are the most judgmental, too.
for these kind of people, it's all about pakitang-tao, and nothing about their own spirit or character.
sige ampo, sige pud panlibak, pandaug-daug sa uban. how can one pray or be religious and yet be unkind? i don't get that.
mao na, wary ko ug mga tawo sobra sa ka-relihioso or sobra ka-sweet. something's fishy there. hahaha.
Hahahaha!!! sakto ai!!=) i agree with you on=) kulbaan ta'g naay hidden agenda..taymsa pa, super sweet raba ko (sa mga tawo nga i like), but if you have done something against me or my family/friends,id be the exact opposite. mura ko'g bulldog,LOL.
i must say, like you, i know so many "real devotees" to prayers and living a good and kind life, they are the ones who live in quie prayer. its just sad that these people i know (related pa naman nako) are bad examples of " being religious"..if they have done what they have done to their own family, i think they could do the same to other people. or even worse.
mejo affected pd ko aning story, naglagot pd ko! i can't believe some people, especially whom you call family, can do that to u. and yes, just what u and ate ai were discussing, i don't understand how some can go to church every week, pray fervently (kuno) every night, and don't walk the talk. while ga-misa kay mag cge pamantay, nya when the mass is over, they resume all their badmouthing.
my mother had some bad experiences and though everything's ok now, when we look back, i still feel a twinge of kalagot to those who belittled her. it's not very easy to forgive and forget, i must admit. it's difficult to be the big person all the time. hehe.
and oh, i just discovered that i can comment in this blog when using our home connection. sa connection ra tingali to sa office. gaba kay mag cge internet while at work. hahaha. hush!
mejo affected pd ko aning story, naglagot pd ko! i can't believe some people, especially whom you call family, can do that to u. and yes, just what u and ate ai were discussing, i don't understand how some can go to church every week, pray fervently (kuno) every night, and don't walk the talk. while ga-misa kay mag cge pamantay, nya when the mass is over, they resume all their badmouthing.
my mother had some bad experiences and though everything's ok now, when we look back, i still feel a twinge of kalagot to those who belittled her. it's not very easy to forgive and forget, i must admit. it's difficult to be the big person all the time. hehe.
and oh, i just discovered that i can comment in this blog when using our home connection. sa connection ra tingali to sa office. gaba kay mag cge internet while at work. hahaha. hush!
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hahaha, bitaw gyud kaith, i cant get my head around that..go to church, and pray fervently and be the devil once they open your eyes,lol=)
i think we remember more, if the atrocitywas done on our love ones..mas makaforgive ta, if its against us, but to people we love, it'll be even more devastating..
*hugs kaith.
hahaha,bitaw, stop internetting at work, basin next time it'l be twitter na ang i-stop nila=)
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