i wish

..i could finish my report now, so i could stay in my room and cry my heart out. right now, im soooo busy to think and have any other emotions other than think of QT data and comparative analysis. honestly..i cant cry even if i wanted to..i just wish i could to stop this searing pain in my chest.

i have a burden that i carry, regarding some news i just got. its so disheartening when you're not included in decisions, when all you do is include such persons in all your life-changing decisions.

maybe i should do the same.

maybe i should just stop caring.

maybe i should just..



***


am i wrong in feeling this way? maybe i am.

maybe its time for me to do some life changing decisions too without considering other people,huh?

i wonder how that feels?


***

and probably, if i don't care much, maybe, i will stop this nonsense too. i wouldn't be working so hard, i wouldnt be working my ass off like i'm a machine made of steel.

**


if i had to give myself an advice right now, i would probably say " enjoy life, and stop caring too much".

maybe i should do just that.

or maybe, i could just go and top myself. (sounds like the very easiest option, to be honest).


**

you see, i was alright the last could of weeks. you dont mind hard work when its rewarded with love and mutual respect.

but if you see otherwise, you wonder, 'what am i doing this all for?'


**

i wish you all a better day than what im having;

a better life than what i have at the moment.

tagay ta na!