infectious

most people who knew said i was foolish.

you see, i was a "buddy" to my friend who contracted swine flu.

when i say "buddy", it meant i was the one who picked up the tamiflu tablet for that person, and if anything was needed by that person, i was the only one allowed to get near them.

the UK prohibits people with the swine flu virus to go out. which means, they should isolate themselves as much as possible, and only be rushed to hospital if needed. they are qurantined for good reason. the flu has created a pandemic in the country.


so the health system operate on the 'buddy" system to contain the flu.


on wednesday (my day-off), i was called to pick her up from her home as she was really "bad". she was had trouble breathing as complications of her flu. i rushed her to the hospital and stayed with her, until the doctor told me to go home because she needed to stay in hospital due to "pneumothoritis".


everyone who heard the story said, i was crazy, and just dangerous.

not the least i could get the flu, i am also diabetic which can be fatal.


i wasnt scared, thinking i might have had the "flu" in may. the worst flu ive had in years. i had confusion,was feverish, i barely could walk and i had no voice.

but im proven wrong. i might not get the flu, but im still susceptible to any infection.

but really, i dont think i could let a friend (who doesnt have anyone) down, just because im thinking of "what could have been's" for me. i cannot sleep on that thought.


id rather be a 'dead' good friend, than be alive but a disappointing one.


***

oh my friend's home now--- on heavy duty antibiotics.

just like me.=)

*cough, cough*


***

photo: a street in prague

times like today

..are times i know i am loved.

for someone who avoids using the computer like the plague(uses it only because i nag her to post photos of her holidays, and for work related matters), i am chuffed.

big time.

so to spend time out of her busy schedule to read me, is the best feeling in the world.


i know when i feel there's no one who has the capacity and patience to listen to my meltdowns, i remind myself there is always one,who will.


i wish i can be as good friend to her, as she is (the best) to me.

found treasures and camera stories

treasured ones:

i found these treasures from longlost classmates from elementary and high school.

i find these photos as treasures of mine because they are one of the very few that i have left of my old photos.




in my high school uniform ..thank you Boots





in my elementary years ..thank you Pamela


***

lost ones:


my family was unfortunate to have been victims of a fire, that along with the house that burned down, were memorabilias of our life that turned to ashes.

we also moved from islands to islands, that we lost some along the way, some left with the grandmother and auntie from my mom's province, but they did not care for the photos.

***

the history of hoarding:

overall, im glad that ive always been a photo fanatic. in high school, my parents were struggling to make ends meet then (my papa's SLR gone,and money was spent more for daily needs than camera), but my cousin Kuya Akong owned a camera, so myself, my cousins, and i would pool in our money and have photoshoots in the house. Karla, Joan, my brothers, and tony will pose by our house in Linao, with kuya akong as the shooter,and i the director.


by the time i worked as a dj, the very first year, i owned a compact nikon camera. (sadly, it was pawned to pay family bills). but that camera took many a photos of the life i had in radio and with the then boyfriend.


by the time i moved to my last job, one of the djs sold his camera to me, another compact nikon,which i still owned until i got married. (it was the official camera of the family when i moved to the UK,but sadly, Ana left it in the province when she shot some photos of a cousin's wedding *im still sad and annoyed thinking about it*).


after then, i had a flurry of different cameras in my hands, and all have stayed with me. a 3megapixel Fuji digicam, sony DSC90, sony T10, Nikon D200, Nikon D700, Canon G10, Polaroid 600, Fuji instax 200, Fuji instax mini (and currently eyeing an Olympus Pen) and no plans of parting with them...




***

a sad camera story:

when Ana graduated first honours in MZED school, my mom attended the graduation. Ana was in the same school as cousins of ours. this was the time, we DID NOT own a camera.

all the parents took photos of their children, and of course, an uncle (by marriage..a husband of my father's sister) had nice camera then.

he was there taking photos of his children, and all of the other kids. he was even volunteering to take photos of ana's classmates and friends. he was taking photos of everyone, and taking photos maniacally of everyone EXCEPT when Ana was on stage, and was being given her award.

my mom was so tearful. she never felt so inadequate and so poor. it wasnt about not having owned a camera. it was about how people make you feel less (worse, theyre supposed to be relatives).i think in the end, a mom of Ana's classmate took a photo. MZED was an expensive school (for us) but mama and i made sure ANa went to really good schools. so expensive that all we could (barely) afford was the tuition fee.


when mama told me about it i was livid.

i vowed, i will never ever let anyone feel how we felt when they/He did that to us. (when a friend of my brother's asked me to do their wedding photos and has no budget whatsoever, i had no second thoughts).

its amazing how having a camera makes the difference. but whats important is that you should be able to share, the power that camera brings to people. its not about the machine. its about what the machine can do to people's lives. (its a proof of a moment of time)..


we dont have a single picture of Ana's graduation. but we have a clear image of that pretend-uncle burning in hell. despite the image of church-going-oh-im-holy-i-will-sing-in-false-baritone-voice-for-the-church-and-pretend-i-could-sing-by-miming, he was (and still is) trying to display.


see, dont get me start talking about cameras...it all comes down to that day of Ana's graduation, i felt so inadequate for not owning one that i think subconsciously which explains the hoarding.

and i end up getting angry all over again.

missing him

on my way home from taking the stepson back to his flat tonight, adrian and i heard this on the car radio.

this is for you mama,jojo,roi and ana.

because i know, beneath the laughter and smiles

we all still are grieving.


i miss him everyday.

and i know you all do too.

blah bubble

im feeling blah.

i dont have anything to say nice or exciting. nothing out of the ordinary.

not even the simple mundane day-to-day, is too blah to write about.

so im writing about how blah i feel.

maybe this will vex the curse, or jinx the hex.

to describe my life recently, its too ordinary, and too simple.

picture this: cleaning,work,tv,sleep,work,stare at the walls, laugh at my own jokes, reading my own blog (now thats the highest point of ordinariness), blogging, reading people's blog (this is the most exciting part of life recently), and reading books. [edit: i forgot to mention the gym..i have been religiously going,LOL]

its just simple joys, that i dont know how to write it to make it look appealing even to me.


life is just stable and ordinary. no drama and no excitement.

im not sad, just blah. *tongue out*



***

visa news:

still havent heard anything from the appeal process for my brother's and sister's visas. im kicking myself why we applied for them together. i should have known entry offcers dont read application forms and that people with same surname applying together are expected as married. (maypa wala nalang sila nangayo ug birth certificate sa applicants, di man diay basahon. if they read it, both have the same parents,then we could have saved all this money and time-wasting exercise).

now my mama has to wait for one of them to get it to fly and visit adrian and i here in the UK.

im sure she'll be fine travelling on her own. but she's so precious, i cant imagine letting her fly long haul on her own. i have so many worries in my mind. my mom has some health problems, i worry. i worry sick. i even worry for the neighbours cat, so i cant help worry about my mother.

adrian is insisting we should have her come here by a deadline coz sayang iyang visa. i agree. but what if, the day we bought her tickets, ana or roi's (or both) visa will come through?


i dont know. my head hurts everytime i think about it. if anyone knows the answer, i will buy you ice cream.



***

sweetest of messages...


i received one from my cousin tony in facebook.

she thanked me for praying for her when she was in hospital for dengue last three weeks ago. but that wasnt the reason why i found it sweet.

it was sweet because in the letter,she also mentioned in detail her appreciation to her older sister Karla.

in detail.

she described how her sister slept in the small hospital bed with her, and how she was there the whole time.

its so sweet how younger sisters talk about their older sisters in a sweet loving manner. its even nicer that they appreciate the love their older sister give to them.

that tony is going places because she doesnt forget.

and i agree with her...all of us are so fortunate that we have karla in our lives. our sweet dearest sister karla.


(karl, i know you go chelo's blog-binge-reading once a month, so by the time you read this, di nako nimo hapakon kay dugay na kaayo..and i also know youre crying when you read this,LOL).


sisterhood is the best brotherhood...

and friendships, make my world go round...

and my life no matter how ordinary and simple, is always peppered with little treasures and lessons along the way...spices which i love.

now writing it all down, blah gone. enter food craving...


craving for the day: lechon kawali.

now if anyone can send me lechon kawali, i will buy you ice cream for a lifetime.