we still celebrate his birthday every year with a 'handa' (no matter how little) like we used to, even if he's not around anymore. its fitting for someone who loved gathering his love ones over a buffet of good food and conversation.
i deliberately waited for it to be morning in the Phils, so that i could talk to my siblings and my Mama,just to remember him, and what they are doing.
we pretend he is around somewhere, doing his usual cigarette breaks in the toilet.
tonight, over lechon, and mama's cooking, the family will gather and talk and remember him...
each year, there will be less talking 'about him' vocally, and only in our minds do we dare speak and talk about him more, as we dont want to scratch underneath the surface.
the pain is still there.
sometimes, its covered with new joys, new additions to the family, new gains, little successes here and there, but underneath it, we remember him still vividly (with longing), and we will for a very long time.
***
we console ourselves that he is painless,and that he is not 'disabled' wherever he is right now.
his memories are forever colorful and beautiful.
papa, i miss you. wherever you are, you are sorely and deeply missed.
happy birthday.
him flanked by his girls...and him with his longtime love
the men...and he obviously was the king of the roost
papa's last dance...his youngest and favorite, Ana..
***
i wish for him to have seen his first 'apo' Dominique.
and he would know,he is never forgotten because he has a reminder in the house.
8 comments:
happy birthday to your papa chel. i wish i had that kind of relationship with my father.
he's looking after you..
i am very moved by the love you have for your papa. i guess, we never forget the ones we love, ever. no matter where they've gone.
i'm sure he is looking after you, happy to see that you are what you are now -- all of you.
*hugs*
happy birthday to your papa chel. i wish i had that kind of relationship with my father.
he's looking after you..
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thanks mai!!!=) comforting kaayo ang thought that he is=)thanks mai=)
i am very moved by the love you have for your papa. i guess, we never forget the ones we love, ever. no matter where they've gone.
i'm sure he is looking after you, happy to see that you are what you are now -- all of you.
*hugs*
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thanks ai=) he was such a kind, and sweet man ai, but firm...he would say 'one liners' to warn me for my follies and it would stick to my mind...
im scared that one day, my memory will fail me ai... need to write things down so i can go back and remember them if im getting forgetful=)
i wish youve met him...he would have liked you, and teased you endlessly too=) all my friends were teased by him...he would say to karla, "ning slim lagi ka karl" every time they meet, (and this was when he was blind,haha) coz he knew, karla would say "kakita diay ka nako 'cle' ?" they would laugh..
happy birthday to your papa, chel. =) he is very loved. he's smiling at all of you from up there right now. *hugs* he looks so happy in the pics, and so way libog. and I think, your little darling of a niece has your papa's eyes! hihi.
thank you for sharing this. you have a wonderful family. happy birthday to your dad!
and i hope you feel so much better now, supergirl.=D hugs!
happy birthday to your papa, chel. =) he is very loved. he's smiling at all of you from up there right now. *hugs* he looks so happy in the pics, and so way libog. and I think, your little darling of a niece has your papa's eyes! hihi.
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hi jane!!!=) thank you..i miss him so much today. i had a big crying session missing him.
bitaw jin, daghan kayo ningsulti nga parehas bitaw sila mata..pero early days pa...maybe mausab pa...hehe..certainly, she took from our side=)
thank you for sharing this. you have a wonderful family. happy birthday to your dad!
and i hope you feel so much better now, supergirl.=D hugs!
***
thanks chiara=) youre so sweet..i am an 'almost' supergirl..wanting to do so many things..but not able to..=)
my family misses him badly...he is a big loss..thank you for listening=)
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