back here

my jetagged mind woke me up at 2:45am (UK time).

then at 3:50am.

then at 7am.

i could not resist it anymore. i stood up, drank a glass of tepid water and read the book im trying to finish.

perhaps, its about time too. the Philippines is after all 7 hours ahead of the UK so my body was pushing me to move as it still feels its at 2pm tropical heat to the 7am, darkness and chill reality i was in.


reading wasnt any success at all. i eventually relent to a blog entry.


i arrived only yesterday, monday, 11th of january, yet after reading my friends' blogs about our fun and adventure we had together,it felt like a different century has passed between here and then. the memories and laughter are still so remarkably fresh but when i try to remember the details of that day, i get some blurring on the edges.

my memory fails me sometimes (most of the time when it matters, and yet, remembers the most dire of things), and this is the very reason why i want to write.

because when i read things my friends have written, things spring up from nowhere and become triggers to a blurry vision of a not-so-distant past,making things fresher and more alive...and more painful.

aha!

there i said it. i avoid blogs, and reminiscing for now, lest i want to be reminded of the painful memory of leaving my love ones in that blasted airport.

but blogs are my saviours. and my pleasure. i crave and devour them like fillet steak to a hungry mind.

so i will, and i will write for my sake. and for my family's sake.

to continue where we have left.

there's about half a foot of snow outside, my husband sleeping peacefully at our bed, yet here i am, in my undress, writing to save my heart.

this is where the 'goodbyes' start to transcend into 'hello's'.

and 'until then's'.





a photo of myself and barely 4-month old baby niece Mika..who by the way, apart from the youngest addition to the family, is the main reason why homecoming this time for me, a beautiful and meaningful one..