there is something in the darkness

there is something in the darkness that my mind seems to work more with it..

when i study for exams, and when i do projects and assignments, do research, i have to do it at such unholy hours that my husband (family) freaks out, im not getting enough sleep.

today, i woke up again, at 7am UK time.

Its still very dark outside, you'd think it was 10 oclock at night. the only resemblance to 7am is the fact that when you turn the tv on, breakfast shows start their hyperactive jingles and of course, that of the clocks insistence that it is definitely 7am.

so i turn the telly off, theres nothing to watch except stare into 42" of moving colour.

i turn my computer on, trawl on sites of my dear friends and family, checking (and hoping) they have posted something to feed my thirst for news and updates.

any updates.

anything would do me right now. a blog about their day, their angst about sinulog traffic, or a picture or two, anything would do. just for me to get that connection.

perhaps because, i am less homesick today.

in fact i am less homesick this homecoming, but i dwell on this longing to be with constant company of friends and family.

i dwell, and because it is my nature to hold on to distant pasts, and cling on to dead memories even if they are far from reviving.

there is something in the darkness that makes one remisnisce, pour emotions, and write things one should probably leave to themselves.

there is something in the darkness, that emotions are heightened, and sensitivities aroused, and cry.

i do.


***

perhaps in the darkness, our hearts see more clearly.

it is in the dark after all that we are left without noises and distractions.

isnt it in the dark that lovers consummate passion in wild abandon? isnt it in the dark that artists talk about their craft like its the new religion? isnt it at dark dingy clubs, that soul singers pour out their highest note for crowds to applause, or get imprisoned in dark solitary confinement to reflect on a grievous crime once committed?

to feel emotions, to ponder and to look back,at a heightened level, light has most often than not been on leave of absence.

definitely, the heart has night vision.


***



darkness befalls boracay...silhouette of boracay's grotto